It's nearing the end of July...

...and these were my New Year's Resolutions:
1) Be less than $30k in debt by the end of the next year (currently $41,485 in the hole).
2) Get at LEAST an 80% in my Chem. class that I previously failed.
3) Finish off my shower, sink, toilet idea for my basement.

Well... I got exactly an 80% in Chemistry, I just yesterday finished up the shower, sink, and toilet idea in my basement... and after some recently large poker winnings, I am currently only $26,500 in debt. It is an exciting day!

My secret new year's goal was getting a girlfriend, yet I got so much more than that. Lauren and I are great, spending most days together, taking trips, having fun in the sun. Life is pretty good. Looks like I shall have no trouble subbing high school and getting pretty much full time hours, meaning debts shall be melting away in no time.

I am registered for at least two big tournaments where first place would essentially pay off my entire mass of remaining debt. One is a $200 buy in, with $100 rebuys. The other is just a $500 entry, no rebuys. There is a third one that I am considering entering if I do well in either of the first two... that is a $1000 buy-in, no rebuys, first place will be about $50-60,000.

Tomorrow is 3 months with Lauren. Happy three months hunny.

Dan

Vegas so far

Well, the tournament went well. I played about as perfectly as possible, and got to play beside a couple pros. John Juanda and Shannon Elizabeth were both right beside me. John is a really good player, very agressive preflop, but Shannon is pretty bad, from what I saw. She couldn't let her KK go when JJ showed strength on two separate streets with the board QQ5,9..... dummy.

Anywho, I got taken out by John Juanda after he doubled me up when I had AA, and he had 67... but after that, I was way chipped down, and he had 82 in late position and raised, and I had 55 and went all in... board came AJT... looking good... Q... still not bad... then BAM 9 to give him the straight. SOAB!

I was really sad after that, but Lauren cheered me up. We went out for a great dinner the next night, and then to Cirque du Soleil. It was great. I have to go, it's the last night here, we gotta clean up, eat, and then go out for our last great night on the town. What an amazing trip. After losing the $1500 for that tournament, I made $1000 from poker, slots, and some blackjack. I had a blast!

Dan

Dan Benesh is going to WSOP

World Series of Poker - Main event, at the Rio in Las Vegas. $10,000 buy-in, first prize somewhere between $4 and $12 million. I am going to be one of those hero stories that you hear about (if you hear about me at all). I played in a tournament that cost me $20. It was $4 to enter, and $4 for rebuys and add-ons. I demolished it, ending up with 100,000 chips at the final 4, while the other 3 had no more than 20,000. That won me entry into a $200 tournament, where first place was $4000 cash, and a $10,000 buy-in to the WSOP main event.

Things weren't looking good at first. 67 entrants meant there was no prize for 2nd place. It was all or nothing. That is kind of discouraging at times, but someone has to win. Like a lottery, but with much better odds, and controllable outcomes at times. After the first hour, I was essentially even in chips (2500) and had to take my cat to the vet. My friend Jon took over while I was away for 45 minutes, and when I returned, he had parlayed my chip stack up to more than 7500 chips. So now I was 5th place, with about 40 people left.

The blinds were moving up slow enough that I had chances to make plays on people. This caused my chips to fluctuate. I was as high as 12,000 and as low as 5000. Finally, we got down to the final table of 10 people, but things were not looking good. I had only 8000 in chips, and I was in 9th place. However, right off the bat, I doubled up. That put me back into the middle-upper of the pack of players. Then, for some reason, after this 5 minute break, people just went nuts! About 5 people busted out in the span of 5 hands, and we were down to 5 people left, and I was 3rd.

The chip leader was from France, and he was playing retarded - going all in for 80,000 when the blinds were only 800/1600. We were all just waiting to pick him off. However, when one person finally called him, he ended up losing. We all took some small pots off of this loose chip leader, and kept stealing blinds from one other person who just seemed to not get any cards. Eventually, this person went all-in and was taken out, and we were down to just 3 of us. It was dantml (me, 25000), Betterfuture (US, 45000), and _________ (France, 95000). The Frenchman are crazy when it comes to poker.

The blinds are just killing me, and I eventually get down to 15,000 and the blinds are still 800/1600. I realize that I have to start agressing. And so I do. I steal some blinds, and then double up once through the chip leader, and I'm back at 45000. Then comes the key hand of the tournament. Right before the 4 hour mark arrives, I get pocket 8s. Blinds are 1000/2000, and I raise to 5000. Small blind (France) calls me, while other guy folds. Flop is K64... he checks to me, but he's been check-raising me all night, so I'm worried, so I just check. The turn is a 3. He bets out 20,000 at the pot of only 13,000. This seems like a ridiculous bet, and I determine that very likely he does not have a king. He either has A5, A6, or 55, all hands which I want him to fold RIGHT NOW. So, I go all-in. However, he calls - I am now very scared - however, he has 55, and I dodge the 10 cards on the river that could kill me, and I am now chip leader with 93,000 in chips. And break for 5 minutes.

After the break, I try to make a play on Betterfuture. He doesn't fall for it, and I give away 12,000 for no reason. We are all pretty even at this point when the following hand comes up. I am in the big blind with A2. France calls the big blind of 2000, and Betterfuture folds. I check. The flop is AA7. I check, to trap him, and he bets the minimum. I make it look like I am unsure of my 7, and I just call. The turn is a king. I check, France goes all-in, and I call very quickly. The turn was very nice for me, as it hit his K7 hand quite nicely. I rake in a huge pot, and now I have 120,000 in chips, and Betterfuture has only 50,000. He is a good player, though, and he chips me away until we are generally even. He takes 5 small pots off of me, but then I take one big one. This continues for about ten or twenty strenuous minutes. Spectators are complaining that we are boring and that we are taking too long.

Then, I have 81,000 and he has 89,000 in chips, the following hand arises. I have AT and I just call the big blind of 3000. He raises to 6000 and I call that, too. The flop is A74. I think I am first to act, and I check. He bets 6000. Typically, when he steals, he only bet 3000. So, this time, I think he has a good hand. BUT, I think my AT is better than his hand. So I go all-in. He considers his options... and calls! At this moment, I am very scared he has AJ, because he thought so long. Instead, he has A9!! All I have to do is dodge 3 outs, and I win the majority of the chips.... A74...8...Q. At this point, I am in total shock. I'm sitting there by myself like this --> :O ... next hand he goes all in for 9,000 and I have 74, so I fold. Next hand I fold J3 to him. Next hand he goes all in, and I call with AJ, and he has J8. Perfect. Jack flops. No 8 comes. I win. Above is a picture of the instant when I officially won. I never want to forget this.

Everyone who needs to know already knows about this event pretty much knows, but those are the dirty details, and now I will never forget (as if I would anyway). July 7th I go to Vegas, and I can be there as short as a few days, or as long as 11 days, depending on how far I go in the tournament.

I will blog every day when I'm there to keep everyone informed of the happenings. Later.

Dan

Words sometimes better left unsaid...

I would scrape your windows for 80 years.

*sighs*

God: The Failed Hypothesis

Book Review - God: The Failed Hypothesis by Victor J. Stenger.

******** DISCLAIMER ************ DISCLAIMER ************

What you are about to read is a book review about deeply rooted in Humanistic properties, which I am very much in favour of. Since you are not supposed to discuss religion or politics with friends, I warn you beforehand. This is a mix of information about myself and how this book and myself interacted.

******** DISCLAIMER ************ DISCLAIMER ************
Recently, I have been on a religious quest of sorts. Initially, I was brought up to believe in God, and to do good things in his name, and follow the teachings of the church. Somewhere around grade 7, my education was already too good for me to be quite so gullible anymore. I lost touch with religion and with morality in general. I was focused only on myself and friends. High school taught me more about morals, and I started doing things for others as well. Eventually, graduating high school, I was in an altruistic stage. I still consider myself to be there. Every decision I make is based on two questions - a) will this hurt anybody else? b) will I make the world a better place by doing so? If the answers are no and yes respectively, I will do the action. Sometimes you are forced to do something when only one of those questions is answered the way you want it to be, but that is where morality comes in, I suppose.

In any case, I agreed to review God: The Failed Hypothesis for the publisher Prometheus Books. It was touted as “Scientific proof that God does not exist”. Initially, I thought “yeah right” - there is NO way you can legitimately prove that God does not exist. Essentially, I still believe that. However, Victor Stenger has done a remarkable job that is hard to refute. The main reason for my disbelief in God stems from the fact that we are organisms, just like any other ones on earth. Just because we have the mental ability to fathom a God exists, does not make it correct. Victor proves scientifically (that is, using various models and logical statements, such as “IF this God we are describing has these certain attributes, it is irrefutable to say He exists”) that the Judeo-Christian-Islamic God, described to us in scriptures and teachings without a doubt does not exist.

Being of a scientific mind, yet also having a very religious childhood, I tried as hard as I could to argue with his points. The best I could come up with regarding his discussion of the investigation of the effects of prayers. Scientific studies were done where various groups of people prayed for others (either known or unknown), and then a group of sick people were either a) prayed for, and knew it, b) not prayed for, and not knew it, or c) either prayed for or not prayed for, and either knew it or didn’t know it. The results showed that prayer does not help at all, and actually had a negative effect to the people who knew they were being prayed for. My rebuttal, however, would be that prayer (if effective, at all) would not be effective in this situation. It is not genuine, and it is only being done for the purpose of discovering if God will answer your prayers, and thus answering your test. If God exists, and is omniscient, he knows of your TRUE motives, and would not reveal himself through this. Prayer is also a very sketchy subject to talk about in general. Prayer is not always just asking for something and getting what you ask for. Prayer is used by many as just a way of talking with God - it is calming, relaxing, comforting, and makes some feel content with the status quo.

Aside from this one point, I could not find anything else that I disagreed with. In fact, I loved reading his chapters discussing the creation of the Universe - order and disorder. It is truly astounding the work that physicists and astronomists do to understand the Universe. If I were to recommend any part of this book to anyone, it would be the Cosmic Evidence chapter. Here, he has proven to me without a doubt that the Universe creation and existence does not disobey any currently known physical or biological law that we know today to be true. This was often something that I struggled through in my disbelief of a God. “How can the Universe, being so vast and filled with debris, have just appeared?” I would have typically thought it disobeyed the conservation of mass, yet I have been shown it does not. Stenger also debunks the notion that “the Universe is so fine-tuned, it could not have happened by accident. If ____ were different by just ____ degree, the Universe could not exist!”. I loved reading about how non-fine-tuned some things really are. How they are more just a case of nature taking the simplest course (ie. star formation and nuclear reactions in stars)

This book does not get into very much detail about how sickening it is to think of how many people have died in the names of various Gods. Personally, I think it is disgusting, what people of the past (and present) have done (and still do!) under the guise of religion. While it is an empirical fact that people are more generous in giving to charities when they believe in God, it is also an empirical fact that the morality of religious and non-religious people are equal. How can this be possible? How can it be that non-religious people do just as many bad things as religious people? Our values do not come from God, then. We see in the animal world that creatures are innately driven to perform various compassionate acts. Yet religious believers will put us above animals - God has given us our morals, they will say. God has created Man to be above all other creatures on the earth. I’m sorry, I just don’t believe that. As comforting as it may be to believe that we are created to be rulers of this earth, it is simply not so. We are simply an insignificant abnormality in this Universe. As Stenger says, a single spot of order in an otherwise chaotic Universe. I understand some people may feel sad to think that when we die, that is it, but there is simply no evidence to believe otherwise. “With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil - that takes religion.” - Steven Weinberg.

Here is a point to ponder: The Paradox of Omnipotence.
1. Either God can create a stone that he cannot lift, or he cannot create a stone that he cannot life.
2. If God can create a stone that he cannot lift, then he is not omnipotent.
3. If God cannot create a stone that he cannot lift, then he is not omnipotent.
4. Therefore, God is not omnipotent.

I read this and laughed out loud. Why would God waste time creating (or not creating) stones that he can (or cannot) lift! However, the logic is flawless. There are many more similar ones in the book that are hard to disagree with.

Lastly, I particularly enjoyed reading about the problem of evil in the world. If God exists, and he is a perfectly loving God, why has he allowed so much evil in the world? There are various arguments to this, but none of them seem to make sense to me. The only logical conclusion for me is that a perfectly loving God does not exist.

That being said, that is a perfectly logical conclusion for me. A religious person will read this book, and shrug it off, because you cannot prove or disprove God, they believe. I do still firmly believe that the belief in God has some major purpose. People struggling through difficult times can use God as a crutch or support - someone they KNOW will always be there for them. It has often been said that when recovering from a serious addiction, the only way to stay sober is to give yourself over to God. In the end, you are never going to be able to prove to people who want to believe. That is what it comes down to. If someone wants to believe in the inanimate object of God, they can choose to do so. I know for 100% that He does not exist. Humanity happened by chance, and will soon end by chance. It seems fruitless to write books about how God does not exist when it will not change a believer’s mind (as they likely wouldn’t have the conviction to challenge their born-in beliefs). This book has given me ammunition, at least, so if I get into a theological debate, I can hold my own.

Scientifically speaking, this book is quite sound. I believe the science 100%, and I have since grade 6 and I will forever. I have been educated too well to be so gullible. I mean, honestly - how can anyone believe evolution didn’t really happen? It is mind-boggling. You can’t fake fossils. Stenger says he “finds it amusing that opponents of evolution undermine it by calling it ‘just a theory’.” I tend to agree that this is laughable - particularly when they fail to realize that God is still a theory. A hypothesis. A Failed Hypothesis. Thank you Stenger.

Dan

Lazy Friday

This Friday, I had no school, I was all caught up on homework, it was about -4 degrees............... and I wanted to have some fun. Using this page as motivation, I decided to make use of the 3 feet of snow that was trapped on my roof causing water to leak into my kitchen. I made a snowman scene. You'll notice, clearly, that what happened is that one snowman was going to kill herself, and the other snowman obviously did not want this to happen. So... He killed her, to save her. Makes sense. More to come (when temperatures rise)!

Fun time in Vegas

Best hands of the trip:
QT, board was 5JK,A,8 - other guy had 55, I won a $600 pot with the straight.
AA, board was Q73,8,J - other guy had AQ, I won a $500 pot with a pair of Aces.
67, board was Q45,2,3 - other guy had AK, I won a $500 pot with the straight.

Worst hands of the trip:
KK, board was T73,Q,2 - other guy had AA, we were all-in pre-flop, I lost a $420 pot.
44, board was 467,J,A - other girl had AA, we were all in on the flop, she rivered a 2 outer for a $550 pot.
KK, board was 778,J,9 - other guy had JJ, he got super lucky, I lost a $400 pot.

Overall (because that is what matters), I won $1000 at poker, spent about $300 on goods and services, and came home with $700 more than when I left, and I had a blast.

Now, it's back to school work - if I do more work during the break, the rest of the year should be easier for me.

Going on a trip

Well, it's 8:30am on the day I leave for Vegas. Been on a big downswing lately. I think that poker will no longer be a viable career option for me anymore. It makes sense that as the mean skill level goes up, it will be harder and harder for any one person to make a killing off of it. You aren't going to have idiots paying you off time and time again. It may happen once, but once that "fish" loses his/her money, they are not likely to return. And if they do, they will have more skills. Multiply this by the millions of people playing online - results in this trip very likely being one of the last times I play poker in my life. Not really sad. All I want to do is get a job. I have an interview with Regina Public, since the Catholics like to discriminate against me :) I get my first interview when I get back from the break, and then I get the second interview pending the first. In my mind, there's really no doubt. Well, it's time to get packed and prepped for the trip. $1200 USD is my bankroll for the trip. I'd ask for you to wish me luck, but it's not about that. Back soon.

Danny

Questions

Is it right/wrong, good/bad to look at a person and immediately judge them, and know one way or another that you could spend the rest of your life looking at that person? Romantically speaking, I mean. It hasn't happened much in my life, but when it does, I know. It's weird. Is that bad? Superficial? Should I be more open? I sit here in my chem class, and all I see are girls that I would not want to look at for the rest of my life. Hmm... that sounds rather mean, now that I just put it out there like that. But seeing all these girls that I dismiss at a glance just makes me think of the special few in my life at one point that I could stand to look at forever...

How to be happy

I was reading an article for my school blog and came across this:

1. Stop comparing yourself and competing with others: Maybe I've just been lucky, but I don't understand envy. I know so many people who are eaten up because they don't think they have the looks, the smarts, the possessions or the power of some other people they (think they) know. I see people whose whole life seems to be about getting attention and approval and appreciation from others. This is insane, consigning yourself to slavery to others' judgements. How do we get this way? Is low self-esteem something that is bred into us to keep us in line, acquisitive, dissatisfied with what we have? Whatever the cause, we need to get over it. The only standard that counts is whether you're doing what you love, what you're good at (in your own assessment), and whether, in the process, you're happy. Popularity, wealth, power, and awards mostly measure good fortune and fads, nothing more.
2. Get things done: There are few things better for you than a sense of accomplishment. The keys to getting things done are not over-promising, making your GTD list achievable, doing what's important not what's urgent (and training others not to give you urgent unimportant tasks), and breaking big tasks down into small, manageable ones.
3. Let-yourself-change: Stop trying to change the world. Adapt yourself to the world instead. Let yourself change. Become resilient. The model you represent to others is more likely to bring about sustained change than big, impossible projects.
4. Stop worrying about what you can't do anything about: Easy to say, hard to do, I know. I wrote about this yesterday. Whenever you catch yourself getting stressed, practice letting go - you'll get better at it in time.
5. Learn something new (useful or fun) every day: It's the best way to cope with sadness and feelings of helplessness. Learn things that will make you more self-sufficient - learn skills and capacities, not about unactionable events and facts.
6. Be good to others: Acts of kindness tend to pay unexpected and compound dividends, and they make you feel good about yourself too.
7. Centre yourself: To be more in control of yourself, pay attention to what you feel, what your senses and instincts and body tell you, turn off the noises in your house and your head. Learn to meditate or otherwise relax. Give yourself more time by realizing your time is worth more than what you're paid for it, and then spend and take that time, in nature, in peaceful places, just taking stock and being in the moment.
8. Look after your body: Exercise, eat and drink well, and get lots of sleep and rest.
9. Surround yourself with loving people: People you love and who love you. Animals and children. People who give a damn. People who are happy and respectful of others. Avoid miserable and angry people. Spend some time alone, but not too much.
10. Do some spontaneous, playful things: Create something bold. Travel on the spur of the moment. Entertain. Run. Indulge. Dance. Get a massage. You get the idea.

I would like to focus on one, but the list is just too comprehensive, but good! But how about number 9. I guess that's my goal for the next year. I've already done number 7 intensely over the last few years. And number 6 is what I base my life on - Pay it Forward. Spent the last 5 years on number 5, and will likely continue it for my entire life. Ahhhh, good old number 4. I'm trying to get better at that one, too. Number 2 is key. I feel great when I get things done. Which makes me wonder why I lay around in bed so often doing nothing. Or watching CSI 3 hours a day. Eff it, I'm making a list on my whiteboard right now about the things that I need to get done in this semester. That helped immensely in my pre-internship. Then I will have that feeling that I got something done that will help me get something done. Word.

So close!

January is done. Finals start in early April. Two full months of school left. Two months of me being a student (formally) left. 3 final exams left. It's 3:35am, and I can't sleep. My cat is crawling all over me and the computer, but I love her anyway. She is in the process of nuzzling her head against mine, and kneading her claws into me to soften me up.

Done, as well, is my poker career for a while. Notwithstanding my trip to Vegas in a few weeks, I am not playing again until I am done school. But as soon as I am done school, I will (hopefully!) have a teaching job, at least as a sub. If not... could be to Alberta I go? I don't know. Now my cat is licking hockey sweat off of my arms. In any case, poker is just time consuming and taking priority over things that matter (like assignments/reading/TV), so it is on the back burner for now.

I am really enjoying my classes, though. They are just so meaningful now that I am so close to graduating. This is such a boring blog post. I just can't sleep and writing this with my eyes closed really helps relax me. It's like an online diary. Of useless thoughts... I need a girlfriend.

Not blogging much

I'm not going to be blogging here much (or maybe I will, I don't know) anymore, because I am now blogging on http://mrbenesh.edublogs.org. This is part of a school assignment, and unless you are an educator passionate about technology in the classroom, and other high tech issues, I doubt you will enjoy it. It still has that passion and twisted sense of humour that you have come to love about me. Life certainly won't be as exciting as it has been in the past anyway... hah.

Here's a random poem.

I'm really afflicted; addicted to liquid.
Whether coke, or tea, or pepsi or gatorade
I need fluid; when I have it, I got it made
I should be convicted; addicted to liquid.

My throat feels constricted when I don't get my liquid.
My mouth gets dry, I want to cry, I want to die.
In pain, I wry, I try to be sly, everyone knows why
As these lines have depicted; addicted to liquid.

It goes as predicted if I'm restricted from liquid.
Especially with heat, heart stops its beat, I feel defeat.
I need a drink; lemonade pink; water from the sink.
Such pain self-inflicted; addicted to liquid.

Lol...... just some lines I've been thinking of lately. Can't believe I didn't fit slurpee in there somewhere....

Dan

Argh

There are few things I hate more in life than tossing and turning in bed. Hypocrites is one. Maybe people with poor grammar is the other... Anyway, its 4:11am, and I need to be sleeping right now, but I can't. I am stressing about the job fair on Monday. Should I wear a suit jacket, sport coat, or just a dress shirt and tie? Should I have a bit of facial hair to show my maturity? Should I print my resumé out on specialty paper, or normal? Not to mention the ultimate of questions... where should I actually apply to! Alberta is always taking lots of people, but I don't really have a desire to go there. Australia is far away and I'll be lonely, but it would be an awesome opportunity. And what of my teaching portfolio? It is very skimpy right now, and I would like it to be full of various artifacts, letters, awards, and specimens of my teaching life thus far. Will anyone even care? Should I just go for the easy, simple money of teaching in Regina Public? My tax return for 2008 would end up with me getting a refund of about $10,000, because of my tuition credits. If I were still living at home, I would be basically debt free by March 2009. If I travel, my expenses will be considerably higher and I will likely barely pay off any debts if I go to Australia. Why does economics have to play such a role in my life? Actually, I love economics. Scarcity, opportunity cost, supply and demand... ahh, such awesome concepts. Maybe I can find some in between ground, like teach for 6 months, and then travel, paying down debts slowly, and then come home and finish it off. Sorry there's no paragraphs, it's now 4:24 and I am just rambling to try to make myself tired. It's not working. I did get a big chunk of homework done today, but I would really feel good if I got farther ahead. Always. There's always more you can do in life. Why am I worried about this job fair so much when I have basically been guaranteed a job teaching in Regina Public? Should I go to my old church and ask for a reference letter so I can teach in Regina Catholic? It's where my kids will be going... Gah! I really hate refereeing floor hockey. I don't have a clue why I do this to myself. Sunday would be such a good day if it weren't for floor hockey. I don't know if I can last the rest of the season. I need to be up in 4 hours or less. That's sick.

Danny

More $$$, but STOP already!

Well, I made $1700 two days in a row. That makes for a $6400 USD month only 20 days in. My record is $9600, and I have no doubt I could do it, but $3000 at a cost to my schooling is NOT WORTH IT! Therefore, I cashed everything out and I am not playing for a little while, until I learn how to manage my time better, and/or get a little ahead on my assignments.

This is particularly because the Education Job Fair is MONDAY, and I need to re-vamp my resume before I go handing it out to people. Also, I need to fill up my portfolio in case anyone decides they want to look at it. And just, all in all, get in the right professional attitude, attire, and mindset. This is a big opportunity for me. The money certainly didn't hurt, and in fact, really helps my new years resolution of ending the year only $30,000 in debt.

Talked my Dad into giving me a portion of the rent money, because if I were living in the suite, which I have every right to, we would be getting nothing extra. Also, James lived there, not only didn't pay rent, but also had a 2nd party, for which we would charge actually $600/month! Anyhow, I now get $100 of the $500 rent. I also tutor CS now every Friday for $15/hr. The poor guy says he understands NOTHING about C++, but I can tell he has potential, just no confidence and low computer and low keyboarding skills. Therefore, my monthy income is now $100 (rent) + $240 (reffing) + $120 (tutoring) = $460. My monthly fixed expenses are: $60 (cell) + $120 (gas) + $270 (payment on debts) = $450. Perfect, that leaves me $10 for discretionary spending! That's not even one night at the Broken Rack. *sigh*

I doubt I'm getting much pity after my latest run of poker, and I don't blame you. Alas, it's Saturday at 2pm, and I just woke up, and I have to read a lot of things for Monday (and even RESPOND to them :( ) so I am done this for now.

Danny

$$$$$$$$$

Life is all about money and school right now. School - have class in 1 hr, woke up a while ago and spent the last two hours trying to get different insurance for my bank loan, because I'm paying $66 a month, and I'm not going to fucking die!! Give me a break! What a waste of money. Anyway, waiting for a call back on that one.

On a happy note, made $3500 in the first half of January, but it's starting to interfere with school and I'm getting sick of it, so I am going to quit for a bit and just focus on school instead. I won't think about poker until my Vegas trip (Feb. 18-21). Should be a blast!

Classes are meaningful and fun and keep me awake. I am going to destroy my Chem class, it's like my one thing in life that I just HAVE to do. I want the highest mark in the class, bar none. I've never had to re-take a class before, but for some reason, it's not boring, it is more like "sweet, I know this, this is easier" but I still feel very dedicated to it.

I hate when creditors ask me, "Do you have a job?", because it's like YES poker IS a job you asshole! But really, it's not. Hah... so no, kind sir, I don't have a job. Give me 4 months, if you please. Speaking of which, I have to apply shortly for the papers and stuff needed to become a substitute in late April or early May.

I have a bad feeling that I am going to just accept a permanent position as soon as it comes my way in Regina, and I am not going to end up going to Australia. It is hard to turn down that kind of money when you are my age, and your family is here, and your friends are here, and your big TV is here. If someone just says, "Hey! Work 10 months out of the year, take all stat. holidays off, and we'll give you $40,000." I might be forced to say, "uhh... okay". Because right now, $40,000 would be sweet, and if I played my cards right, that would take me right out of debt. I don't even remember what it's like to not be in debt. Do you?

Dan